I'd have to argue with Time magazine that breastfeeding your three and a half year old is extreme parenting.... and the whole "are you mom enough?" is just plain silly (we are all mom enough to love our children whichever way we parent) yet I applaud the moms that shared their stories and photographs for taking another step towards normalizing attachment parenting.
Most of you know that I loved baby-wearing Audrey, breastfed her till she was 3 and that she still shares a bed with Kip and I.
I breastfed Jeremiah till he was 2, co slept till he was 6, and really wish I would have known more about baby-wearing then...
It's what feels right for our family. For us, there was never a need to read the benefits of doing this from a book and we definitely wouldn't call Dr. Bill Sears our guru (I don't even think Kip knows who this is). This type of parenting just happened for us. We respect any parenting choice and know that love is really the most important.
When baby arrives we plan to breastfeed, baby-wear and co sleep as well.
What are your thoughts on the cover/article? Personally... I can't wait to pick up a copy.
Wouldn't it be awesome if they would have included a Latina or black mother in their pictures!?
There is a whole series of articles on breastfeeding and attachment parenting on Time magazine ATM....would love to hear your thoughts/comments....
6 comments:
This whole "attachment parenting" thing isn't anything new. My Mexican mother raised us this way. I think as parents we all have to do what feels best for our children/family so I certainly wouldn't judge other parents. The problem I have with this article is the idea that if you don't breastfeed your a bad mother. I so wanted to breastfeed both of my girls and I was unable with both, although I tried for many months, I just couldn't it. With Julia I felt the most guilty that I started feeling very depressed. Until one day I was talking and crying to my mother about it and she gave me the best a advice a seasoned mother could give a new mom. She said " it's not the breastfeeding that is going to make you a good mom, it's the love, nurturing, and caring that will matter. There isn't such a thing as a good mom. All mothers who love their children unconditionally are good moms." She said "stop stressing yourelf over the breastfeeding and forget about and start enjoying your baby and bond with her." Her advice made a huge difference.
@Ana : I agree that our Latino culture has been doing this kind of parenting for years...this wasn't "invented" by any doctor. I totally respect you for trying to breastfeed yet it not working out for you and am really sorry that you felt depressed with the fact that it just didn't turn out that way for you. I love what your mother said to you, it's so true.
I have struggled with the whole working mom thing over the last years thinking that mothers that stay home with their kids are "better" mom's. It has taken a lot from me to realize what you said about a "good mom". As long as we all love our children and enjoy the time we have with them, nothing else matters.
It's interesting that you feel that the article says you are not a good mom because you don't breastfeed. Many times I have felt I am doing something wrong by breast-feeding my children through toddlerhood. Being online has helped me see that there are so many ways of parenting and that there is no right way except the way that is right for you.
Hi Marcela, We're all doing our best as mamas working or stay-at-home moms. Oh I forgot to wish you a Happy Mothers Day!!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!
Hi Marcela! I think it is so important for us Mommies to embrace our differences and celebrate them. Too often we end up trying to compete with other moms (totally guilty of this) and the end result? Beating ourselves up b/c we are different. With my first child, I was so worried about doing everything "right" but our three year old, Lilah, still crawls into bed with me most nights (when she's not in bed with her sister!) There is nothing like it; the smell of her breath, her soft hair, and her warm little body. : )
I completely agree with you on doing what feels right for you and your family. I've never read any of the Dr. Sears books, but "attachment parenting" just feels like natural parenting to me. Breastfeeding, babywearing, all of those things feel normal to me.
I'm also excited to pick up a copy and read it. I wish they didn't make it seem so competitive (Mom enough?), but I guess that's what sells magazines.
I haven't read this article yet but really want to! I was listening to my favorite Podcast, "For Crying Out Loud" a few months back and they interviewed Soleil Moon Frye who is a huge proponent for Attachment Parenting. I have to say that I strongly agreed with most of what she said and it had me regretting some of the things I did with the boys--like putting them in their cribs from day one. I can't get that time back, you know? Laine sleeps with us every night and we feel no pressure to make her sleep in her own bed. Maybe we're just slow learners, but we figured it out with baby #3. And breastfeeding...don't even get me started. Such regret! Such guilt! I tried--really tried with Jake but I was so sick and I gave in to the bottle. Then, when baby #2 and 3 came along, I allowed the guilt of having not breastfed Jake to push me into bottle feeding them. Isn't that stupid?! I actually thought to myself, "I don't want Jake to say to me one day--how come you breastfed my brother and sister but not me?" In reality, I don't think we would ever have that conversation. Regrets!! I would do it all differently if I could go back, but I can't so I just have to be the best mom I can be TODAY. :)
xo
Annie
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